1. |
Coquette
04:16
|
|||
All that I want in life
Are the bags under my eyes
To start to weigh enough
To keep them open wide
At least enough for me
To see that I am half asleep
Alone in the driver seat
With nobody to save me.
When will I
Start to think that
Maybe I’ll be, Maybe I’ll be
Maybe I’ll be good enough for me.
I’m in a civil war with myself.
I’m a dead man walking
With his two left feet
Pressed firmly to the ground.
I simply cannot explain
All the flaws within my name.
But I think its biggest crime
Is having to call itself all mine.
When will I
Start to think that
Maybe I’ll be, Maybe I’ll be
Maybe I’ll be good enough for me.
I’m in a civil war with myself.
I’m stuck inside my body and I don’t recognize
The broken boy once in my mind who told me I’d be fine.
In his place is the truth,
In the end we’re all born to be…used.
I never thought that I would give into this
But that just goes to show my will to not
Exist in a world where I hide and I curl and I
Bend and I bend and I bend and I break. Snap.
|
||||
2. |
Giver, Take
03:30
|
|||
Collapsing in on myself
All in hopes
In hopes of placing the blame
All on somebody else.
I don’t need relief
I’m not sick
I just need sleep.
You’re the alarm that wakes me from these dreams of breathing
So sit in the back of my lungs where you belong.
This is a quarter life crisis at its finest.
The world is on its deathbed.
And I think I’m the illness.
I’m not afraid of the dark just the things I can’t see
The most threatening voice in the darkness was the one inside of me.
This is a quarter life crisis at its finest.
The world is on its deathbed.
I, I never said I wouldn’t be the one to let you down again
Now all I’m tasting is pavement in between my teeth
And I’m tasting every inch of these
Thoughts that won’t let go of me.
She said to me, "I can take it all away.
Everything that you love as well as all you hate."
And that’s the choice I made
I gave it all away
I gave it all away and I can take it all away
I gave it all away and I can take it all away
Everything that you love and everything that I hate
I can take it all away
This is a quarter life crisis at its finest.
The world is on its deathbed.
I, I never said I wouldn’t be the one to let you down again
Now all I’m tasting is pavement in between my teeth
And I swear to God,
I’m letting go. I’m letting go.
|
||||
3. |
Fences (Spoken Word)
01:12
|
|||
4. |
||||
"I’m going out now mom, dad.
I’ll be home by eleven or so."
He flies out the door and gets in that car
With four of his friends
Looking forward to the night ahead of them
Meanwhile…
A father and his son speak heart to heart
He says “Son in a matter of hours you’ll be the man that I already know that you are.
Give ‘em hell kid, dig your teeth in, and never forget
I’ll always be here for you son as long as you live.”
He’s in the driver’s seat halfway to Stony Creek
No sweat in his breath and no fear in his teeth.
They pull up to the park get out of the car
Say hello to friends who then welcome them
In each other’s arms
Standing six feet apart
They sit down and relax
They talk ‘til hours pass
And as the moon starts to show they decide to head home.
“Who needs a seatbelt?
We’re invincible can’t you tell?
Invincible invincible invince--”
Ninety minutes pass
And so does a son driving with his dad
The night before he becomes a man
His god robbed him of that.
Deep pending breaths
Depending breaths
Deep ending breaths
Deep ending breaths
Deep pending breaths
Depending breaths
Deep ending breaths
Soon their parents find out
Three of the kids from the school in town
Soon they’ll be laying them down in the ground
While friends with broken hearts say goodbye six feet apart.
“I will not be another statistic.”
|
||||
5. |
Wanderer
04:14
|
|||
We both buried our secrets in each other’s bodies
Not obsessed with the company just thrilled not to be
Alone…for once.
And I could taste the bleach in between your teeth
As if I were getting any cleaner
Underneath the bleachers
Where my honor
Sunk beneath hers.
I hate everyone on the face of the earth
But I hate myself the worst
Against everyone
Against everything
Up against a world that’s up against me.
Against everyone
Against everything
Up against a world that’s up against me.
Scream into the wind just to hear my words spit in my face
I only listen to myself anyways let’s face it.
I designed my life as a fortress so nobody gets in.
I’m just going through the motions pretending I’m not sick.
I’m not sick.
I’m not sick.
I’m not sick.
I hate everyone on the face of the earth
But I hate myself the worst
Against everyone
Against everything
Up against a world that’s up against me.
Against everyone
Against everything
Up against a world that’s up against me.
For years I have been fighting against the things I actually want
And I think it’s time to start giving in.
So bang your head to the sound of giving in
And hang your head from shoulders that have had enough of it
So bang your head to the sound of giving in
And hang your head from shoulders that have had enough of it
I’ve had enough of it
I hate everyone on the face of the earth
But I hate myself the worst
Against everyone
Against everything
Up against a world that’s up against me.
Against everyone
Against everything
Up against a world that’s up against me.
Half of my life was spent
Fearing that the sun would set
And now that it has
I haven’t learned my lesson
‘Cause I spend every waking second
Obsessed if it will rise again.
|
||||
6. |
Wraparound Porch
03:28
|
|||
Basic conversations with neighbors about how I’m doing would put me in labor
Because I realized that I was ambivalently in favor of filling a crater
That was left by a life that hasn’t even met me yet
And it makes me upset.
Because all in all my life isn’t hard
Mom and Dad are forever together playing with our dog in the yard
And I felt like the world’s worst son
Not because of the things I had done but
Because I had these thoughts of greatness and wealth
And when I read through my life like a book on the shelf I am forced to realize
That all of this time it has been my constant lack of ambition
That has kept me idling by
And I’ve since let them know of my love for our home
And I’m constantly told that my dreams will come soon
And my vision and my hope are things that are actually worth holding on to.
The only way inside of my head
To see what I’m about is for me to pull my teeth out.
But when I scream all the filth and the rot
Get trapped in my stomach it’s another lesson taught.
But pulling teeth ain’t easy for me
Not the pain but the fear of what you would see
This is the taste I’ve had on my tongue all along
This is the part of my heart I’ve hid from everyone
And even now that I’m confessing it
I can’t help but feel distant.
And as I saw myself in the reflection of those metal bleachers I realized
That you either live in a hate of the world or in a world of hate
And as far as choosing paths goes I’ve never been great
So I made a choice that day to go my own way.
See the world is already at war with itself
So who am I to help
And I figure there’s so much hate inside of it
I’m probably just better off absorbing it my self.
I will be your scapegoat
I will be your hound
That you keep on your wraparound porch
And beat when you’re feeling down
I will take it all
For strangers that I don’t know
And keep my chin up the whole time
So other people know there’s someone who has been where they are and survived.
|
Streaming and Download help
If you like Carved Out, you may also like:
Bandcamp Daily your guide to the world of Bandcamp